Great Expectations

I was sipping coffee with a friend, and as we chatted, her eyes filled.

It’s hard, isn’t it? she whispered, toying with the edge of her napkin.

The hardest thing, I said.

We were speaking of great expectations, unmet.

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Some time ago, I confided in a friend, speaking honestly about several heartbreaking situations. I expected her to breathe hope, life, and truth into my bones.

Instead, she jabbed, rolling her eyes while reciting all of the things going right in my life.

Meet the sudden death of my great expectations.

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Another friend is suffering, wilting beneath her great expectations for Christmas.

Her three grown children and their families will soon be returning from hither and yon. She has been rendered sleepless, mentally scrolling the details, desperately attempting to recreate their childhood: matching pajamas, cocoa by the fireplace, long walks in a winter wonderland, twinkly lights, sugar cookies to put Martha Stewart to shame, and on and on and on it goes.

In the meantime, she has spent oodles of money, two of her children are bickering, her husband is as grumpy as Ebenezer Scrooge, and Amazon lost her Advent wreath.

The holiday, still weeks away, feels like a crash and burn.

Her great expectations are swirling the drain, and she is depleted.

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Maybe you, too, have become a slave to high hopes, expecting

a compliment,

or a thank you,

or an apology.

Perhaps you expect a child to call,

or your spouse to surprise you with a soft bouquet,

or your friend to send a thoughtful text.

Perchance you expect dishes to be rinsed and tucked inside the dishwasher,

or the trash to be taken out,

or someone to untangle your heart,

or read your mind.

Or maybe, just maybe, you expect this Christmas season to be perfect.

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Expectations make disappointing idols. How much wiser to temper great expectations with the understanding that we cannot and should not force others to meet them. How much better to practice self-control, walking in the Spirit, and crying out to Jesus, our Great Counselor.

There are no shortcuts or quick fixes during painful, disappointing times. Rather than scrolling, shopping, or leaning upon worldly, trivial pursuits that inevitably lead to restless introspection, look up.

An intentional pursuit of joy in Christ leads to great contentment.

I am learning to right the ship of gloom following unmet expectations by telling God about my deepest heartaches as I open the Bible and remind my stubborn, wandering heart of God’s beautifully unchanging character: He is holy, faithful, wise, and good.

Life is sweeter when I swap my great expectations of others with this:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

My heart is softened when I bend a knee and open my hands, embracing and trusting my Sovereign:

The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.

(Proverbs 16:33)

Peace is mine when I exchange my wishes for God himself:

For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.

(2 Corinthians 1:20)

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