Dear Homeschooling Mom

I can imagine you now: sharpening pencils, organizing folders, surrounded by paper, pencils, and erasers. You have packed away bathing suits and beach towels–farewell, summer–as you soar into September, swooning over the possibilities on the cusp of this school year.

Cheered by the thought of beginning again, you smile, your heart singing as you blow a chef’s kiss over the tall stack of textbooks, inhaling this vibrant beginning, as cool and shiny as a penny.

How I remember the swell—no, a roar of invincibility—This year will be the best!

As an older woman who now sees the forest through all those mighty Redwoods, may I encourage you to set aside your beloved curricula and lean in?

While academic studies have their place, grades, achievements, and human accolades are fading shadows.

Successful homeschooling, in God’s eyes, is heart work.

****

I am saddened by the blustery Christmas cards we have received for decades: For unto you is born this day, a Savior who is Christ our Lord, followed by a folded letter, carefully showcasing children’s academic prowess: soaring GPAs, president of this, high achiever of that, and on and on and on it goes.

How confusing to pay lip service to the truth that your child’s worth is bound up in God as an image bearer, and to then pivot and boast about grades, IQs, and awards. What will happen when your student hits a rough patch, loses a scholarship, or grows weary of the pressure to perform, ceasing to make you shine?

For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

(1 Samuel 16:7b)

Please, please do not hear what I am not saying. There is nothing wrong with high intelligence, a gift from God, to be stewarded well.

But as my grandparents used to say: Smart is as smart does.

In other words? Learning to walk in humility, godliness, and kindness is far more important than acing trigonometry.

Additionally, I am not suggesting a laissez-faire approach to home education, nixing the Peloponnesian Wars, Algebra II, Latin, or biology. A well-rounded education is valuable, and yes, I held high academic expectations for my children and encourage you to do likewise. It is good and wise to develop minds for the glory of God.

If you only hear one thing today, may it be this: the bulk of faithful homeschooling means first and foremost training and equipping your children for every good work. Over time, I realized my chief aim was to teach my children to love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, and minds. (Matthew 22:36-38) This heart work involved regular tune-ups: modeling diligence, kindness, humility, courtesy, timeliness, servanthood, forgiveness, and respect.

I look in the rearview mirror and see so clearly what mattered. Those schooldays when a poor attitude was corrected and forgiven, the days when a big brother rose to comfort his sister, when siblings cheered each other on in athletics, recitals, and contests. The moments spent teaching my children to read and write. The year we spent memorizing the book of James, words that still return with a flourish to convict my wandering heart. Our family, shoulder to shoulder in the pew, each and every Sunday. The togetherness of those decades, unbreakable family ties, and our love for God that anchored us throughout life’s storms.

We love each other, albeit imperfectly, but we also like each other, a fact I do not take for granted.

What does this have to do with decades spent homeschooling?

Everything.

The greatest gift my husband gave me was trusting me to teach our children as we played the long game: preparing our four favorite people to pursue a life of godly wisdom rather than chasing the stuff of this world. I prayed that they would love God supremely, know and cherish the Bible, and consider others more important than themselves. This trajectory meant pouring into my children’s hearts.

Does this sound like an impossibly tall order, dear homeschooling mom?

In our own strength, it is.

Rather, heap your trust upon God as you endeavor to do your part, praying for the Lord to work in your children’s souls as well as your own. Be faithful as you labor each day. Give your sons and daughters the gift of structure as you model timeliness, showing them that our great God is a God of order.

This homeschooling endeavor is not achieved overnight, but little by little, day by day, month by month, year by year.

We are imperfect, sinful mothers who serve a good, kind, and perfect God.

****

Children flourish beneath a high bar of godly expectations, seasoned with gentleness, understanding, kindness, and grace. (And donuts, on the first and last day of school.)

Seek to know each one of your children’s strengths and weaknesses. Encourage them often, cheer them onward.

May I encourage you to offer up a feast at the beginning of each school day? An unshakeable triumvirate: Bible reading, Scripture memorization, and prayer.

With souls thus softened, jump into the pages of The Pilgrim’s Progress, The Hobbit, Lad: a Dog, Shiloh, and Little Britches. Live your read-alouds to the hilt, with grand expression, laughter, and even tears, transporting your favorite people from the living room, as you together soar to another time and place.

Help them thirst for good books, and The Good Book. Make them long to hear one more chapter.

Now, with souls softened and hearts tended, cheerfully crack open those textbooks and get going: math, spelling, handwriting, grammar, history, and science, keeping in mind that the beloved curriculum cradled in your hands plays second fiddle to godliness, a work of the heart. (Proverbs 4:23)

“Mothers, the godly training of your offspring is your first and most pressing duty.”

Charles Spurgeon