Show, Don’t Tell

Feel the difference between the following two pieces of writing?

The day was sunny and warm. Aubrie got her shoes on and called for her dog. She enjoyed taking walks in this spring weather. As she started to walk, she heard someone whistling a song. It was an older neighbor of hers, and he was walking with his wife. The wife smiled at him and they kept on walking. Aubrie noticed a pink tree, and some squirrels. It was windy and the sky was blue. Aubrie was always one to notice things.

******

Aubrie tossed her book onto the sofa and stretched as she stood up. Walking to the window and peeking through the blinds, she smiled to see the sun sparkling on the wet grass and driveway. Finally! Spring had blown in with so much wind and drizzle, and she was ready for a long walk.

“Come on Bear,” she called to her Retriever as she jingled his leash. He wagged and stretched his front paws long. Aubrie tied her sneakers and hooked up Bear. As they exited the driveway, Aubrie breathed deeply. There was nothing like clear spring air, pure and energizing. As she pumped her arms, and Bear trotted alongside, Aubrie heard a whistle. Turning to look over her shoulder, she saw old Mr. Hathaway shuffling along, his wife’s arm tucked into the crook of his. He was whistling a happy tune, and Mrs. Hathaway looked up at his old wrinkled face, grinning. 

Aubrie smiled too, as their joy felt contagious. Even the red bud trees danced and waved, their violet petals ablaze, while chunky squirrels scampered beneath searching for their buried treasures. As a gust of wind surged, Aubrie turned her face up, up towards the sunshine held only by the sheer blue of sky.

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